Americans are beginning to move to Germany at an alarming rate, including aestetix and viking. In this talk, we'll discuss both our own personal reasons for coming to Germany, as well as more general cultural issues that are prompting Americans to make the jump. Between the lack of a solid social safety net, mlitarization of police, and a general crackdown on security research and free speech via archaic computer crime laws, things are not looking so great for the land of the free. As we have both been here for a very short period, we'll share our first impressions of the cultural differences, and encourage suggestions on how to make this process easier for anyone else who is interested.